I haven't always had this smile. Yes, I have always smiled but this smile is different. Different how you may ask? Well, this new smile comes from a healed place; a place of comfort; a place full of vulnerability which I never thought I'd share with the world.
I have probably written over 100 blog posts on the topics of faith, healing, forgiveness, and now two books later, I still have so much to say. Is the healing process ever really over? What's next after you say the words: "I've healed!" There is a continuous healing process through life and significant milestones or ups and downs can dictate the healing process.
In the many years prior to me sharing my written thoughts, I would keep my writings on tiny pieces of paper, in journals, notepads, and anywhere else I could write. Everything to my thoughts, my feelings and even down to how I was feeling in a particular moment would go on paper only for me to see at the time. Sometimes I wouldn't even write down how I was feeling - I would just keep it to myself and bottled up in my thoughts. I have grown a lot in the last four years since sharing my writings and publishing two books. It took a lot to get here including the loss of my father and my divorce.
In thinking about what triggered my road to healing, I would have to say it started a little while prior to my father getting sick and passing away in 2010. I felt my mind and thoughts on the path to destruction since I worked so hard to keep my smile in tact. Once I saw my smile beginning to crack, I still tried to hide behind my smile hoping others would not see what was going on with me. This was a hard thing to keep up and it lasted for a while until the real deal finally hit with everything else around me crumbling at the time.
Even during the tough times from 2010-2012, I pulled out my pen and paper since I could be in control and began to write. Do you know it took about 18 months for me to be comfortable enough to share my first blog post? I had no idea back then what blogging was but I knew I could use it to heal my inner self by sharing my thoughts, feelings, and to help others.
Now here we are 7 years, almost 8 years later of me recognizing when writing to heal you soothe yourself and you speak to people who are either where you are or where you were. If I speak to one person I am happy and fulfilled. In my case, I was speaking to myself. With well over 100 blog posts now, I wondered what was next. Do I continue to share my story? Should I write a book or start a series? I think I answered my own questions with two books: A Life With A View and Inspiring Creative Passion.
So what's next? Well, I can tell you my smile is back and in full force. On a scale of 1-10 my happiness is about an 8. (nothing is completely perfect) This is so much better than my happiness being at a 3 a few years ago. Building A Life With A View and connecting with people as a community has brought me a long way and I will continue this movement and write through anything that comes my way.