There was a point in my life where I chose hope over negativity. I didn't think at the time I had to choose hope; I thought it was automatic. Wouldn't I want to be hopeful versus being negative? It was a hard choice not to drown myself in my sorrows. It took more work to make the choice not to be swallowed up by what was going on in my life. Two kids and a ton of bills later, I could not continue feeling hopeless...I had to get up and do something.
At this point, hope was the only option. I was hopeful my proposals for straightening out my bills to the bill collectors would be accepted and most of all, I relied on faith. When times were tough, I turned to a few people and when the response was a negative one in my mind, I turned to hoping for the best to make it through the day. The determination I have would not let me fail; I could not fail my children because of the hand we were dealt. Oh, and you should have heard some of the comments I received: "Are you going to make it? You are almost 40 and raising two kids is hard enough. Just deal with it." I knew I wanted more out of my life and most of all, I deserved better.
Negativity can come in many forms and when you least expect it. Being judged for being a single mom and it appeared everyone else had a husband, man, or significant other. Why did I choose to let go and take a chance at being happy? I did it for peace, serenity and positivity. I mainly let go for hope; the hope I held onto knowing in my heart good things were on the way.
I had this desire to be the example to other people going through challenges and letting them know through my words and actions, it does get better. You have to stretch yourself a bit to go beyond the negativity which sometimes surrounds you. For me to stretch myself, I took to writing. I could be in my space and write on my own time. Whether early in the morning or after the kids were in bed, I found the time to write. This also forced me to be more organized and streamline processes at home. This can sometimes be hard to do since the kids have school and other activities. I made the time and used the time I had to the fullest extent.
Making the time for the things I wanted drowned out the negativity. People did not come at me as much and I didn't even notice until one day I woke up and realized "no negativity today". Each day I kept walking towards hope and finding and developing my purpose. I discovered my purpose is to write and share my story and to help others share their stories. Being an inspiration to others has pushed me forward and I remain hopeful and make better choices; good, positive choices.
I chose hope over negativity. What have you chosen? Is it forgiveness or happiness? Something else? Let me know in the comments what you chose. You can also write in your journal and be sure to refer back to what you have written to track your progress. It is definitely still ok to be in this process as we are all works in progress.